say NO to diets

If you would have asked me about nutrition two years ago, I would have told you which diet or "guidelines" I was following. There is something about the world we live in that has the power to make women feel they have to be less LB's than they are. I had my "number" that I always strived toward. It was my weight sophomore year of college when I was like 19. Um, hello?! Unrealistic to be teenage weight foreva! Dont ask me how drinking like 12 beers a day and not eating much except for the days when I ate like a whole pizza cuz I was drunk could be the time when my body was super skinny. The key ingredient that I was missing is-- why did I want to be skinny? Just to be skinny? How about to feel good in my own skin? To have a healthy digestive track, to be proud of my healthy body. I dont think that even crossed my mind until I became pregnant. I was MISS WEIGHT WATCHERS, I even started to work for the company after I made "lifetime." The secret I was hiding during that fantastic diet was how I learned to manipulate the system to lose weight and eat completely unhealthy. I would save up points to have a huge, make me sick dessert and use the point system to judge whether I was good or bad. If I lost weight that week I didnt care about how I gave myself a stomach ache like a million times that week. There is nothing about that, that makes sense. Let me tell all of you women out there, YOU ARE ALL GOOD! I am serious. I started reading Geneen Roth's books and could totally relate to the feelings she was describing regarding eating. There are so many things that factor into my new outlook on food and my body but bottom line is I dont have rules. The only rule I have is the rule to eat things that make me feel good. Of corse taste is a factor. Of corse there are moments where I eat something like a big piece of cheesecake and have not the best feeling in my tummy afterwards but I have made a decision that no matter what, I will still love and respect myself.
Ironically I feel better than I ever have in my whole life. I am also 15 lbs. MORE my "number" that I held onto for so many years. I am almost 33 years old and any time I catch myself going into that place of self doubt, I ask myself. How many years of my life am I going to waste worrying about what I look like? At my funeral, will it matter if I was a size 6 or a size whatever? The only thing that matters is feeling happy, feeling like you are worth taking care of yourself. If you dont feel those things, that is okay too. I encourage women to take steps to honor who they are. I cant tell you how many women I talk to have feelings of "not good enough" whether they are skinny or not. Havent you looked at someone with self confidence and thought, DAMN, I want that. I know it can be scary to start to let go of diets but if I can do it, literally anyone can. I NEVER thought I would be someone who didnt always worry about weight and food. I can happily say just by honoring my body and switching the focus from I want to be skinny to I want to be healthy, I was able to live a happier life. I am so glad no one is perfect. Perfect is so so so boring. Dont believe me? Just watch Black Swan.