I have to give some background because I have a feeling this post can rub some hot yoga lovers the wrong way. I have been practicing hot yoga for about the last 10 years but the last five pretty steadily. There are so many things that drew me into this practice and most are ego based, admitted. Back in the day I loved how hot yoga just kicked my ass. It was tough and for a person who was very hard on herself for a long time, I welcomed the punishing workouts. There is something about it (at some of the studios I have been to) that is either peer pressure or dedication. I really cant tell. I mean a 30 day challenge, what the hell is that?! Its mean! I was a super freak and went for a 60 day challenge. Not healthy!!!! When I find myself worrying if I will get a spot in the front of the class or hoping that the instructor thinks I have good form, the yoga of it all is out the window. Whether the room is hot or cold the yoga is relaxing the mind. Letting go of the ego. I have to give hot yoga credit for getting me into a yoga room and starting my yoga journey. I have since taken non heated classes and different styles of yoga, practiced at different studios and there is a playful peace to many other styles of practice.
Let me explain where all of this is coming from.
Tonight I had one of the hottest and most painful classes I have had in a long time. To me the room felt angry. It was intense, extreme, it was so hot it wasnt about lengthening my body or letting go, it was about survival. I am serious. To top it off I was next to Ms. Hot Yoga herself and she was loving it.
I still have that competitive edge to me and I sometimes struggle with letting myself take breaks. I wonder if I really need it or if I just want it- that whole deal.
There was no choice tonight, it felt like take a break or die. Literally.
After the class was over I literally crawled out of the room. I felt like someone had just hit me over the head with a fever type feeling and it was NOT GOOD.
I realize this doesnt always happen to me after class and maybe I could have had more water, yada yada but something is telling me-Case, you dont have to punish yourself in a yoga class. It just doesnt make sense to me or my body right now.
Currenly I cycle, run, lift weights among other things but those are in my weekly regime. I have such a loving relationship with yoga and I want to find that romance again. I want it to feel good, to strengthen and lengthen. I want to walk out of the room lighter and freer. Not worried that I wont be able to drive home.
So once again I am going to take my yoga journey to another level. I am going to focus on practicing yoga that feeds my soul and body. Amen, Namaste, Holy crap. WHEW!
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