What happens when you look fear in the face? AWESOMNESS that is what

I have to share what it was like to teach my first spin class. I should have documented this right after it happened but I have been all up in my head about writing for the last few weeks. That is a whole different story for another time (maybe).
I posted awhile ago about being so scared but excited to teach spinning. Teaching has been that thing that I dreamed about. I always hoped I would be a natural, assumed I would kick ass but never actually tried it. Why? I guess whenever I thought about doing rather than fantasizing I had the fear conversation in my head. Casey-you would choke! You should just keep doing what you are doing, why do you always have to have another goal? Cant you just be happy taking other people's classes? Its too stessful, just let it go. So those were my thoughts.
It has gotten to the point in my life when those thoughts dont have as much impact. I am now a mom, I have a new found confidence after creating a person, (yes, I will use this one for the rest of my life)the timing just feels right to tell those negative thoughts to shut up and see what this teaching thing is all about. Maybe I am not so afraid to fail now that I have Dutch, I dont know.
Funny thing is, none of that matters now because I frickin did it! I went for it! I have to share the story because I am so proud of myself.
I have been taking classes at the YMCA Bellevue after my friend, Robyn referred me. She said after reading my blogs she thought I would like the YMCA because it was a non profit, she teaches yoga there and just loves it. She thought they had a mentor program for teaching. Turns out they do and I have been going the last few weeks. I met my mentor, Bill, and he is just awesome. I took one of his classes and it was fun! He played great music and made teaching seem natural.
Bill told me that I should come to his next class early so that I could learn his routine and possibly teach the following week.
I said sure, but in my head had another plan.
I went home and created a class with my own music.
I was so proud of this class. I put some K$sha in there, some Britney, a little Prodigy. This mix was the SHi$, okay. I planned the class and practiced it every night for my little Dutch. We danced to the songs and I basically pretended he was my audience.
I was good. I was also at home in front of my one year old.
Every time I thought of teaching I would get NERVES, major. I have been wanting to teach for years and I was about to do it! The thought was crazy to me.
I decided that thinking about teaching and breathing deep to release the fear and embrace confidence was my plan.
Thought of teaching-total body freak out-breathe it out.
NICE.....oh ya.
I did this everyday for a week.
It came time to meet Bill and I told him the plan.
"I have a proposition for you." I said
"What if I teach class tonight, how about that?" WHAT WAS I DOING?! I was thinking.........you really ready for this?
Bill just said, "ok."
Then I really got excited! This was it!
people started filtering in and saying, hey Bill-you are in the wrong spot.
No problem. I remained calm.
I helped one gal set up her bike and my nerves were gone.well, not totally, but they were overpowered by total excitement. I was so excited to have fun and teach that I let my inner DIVA out! I honestly didnt even know she was in there. She was fierce!
Class started and I was in HEAVEN!
I felt confident, comfortable, and totally at ease. I was SHOCKED!
It was all because I cared more about helping these people have a great class than wasting time worrying about stupid shi$. Excuse my french.
I genuinely cared about each person getting a great workout and having fun.
I was that teacher that was yelling with confidence for them to NOT STOP, TURN IT UP! Not really what the 50 something YMCA crowd was used to but I hope they were entertained if nothing else.
At one point, Bill told me my music was too loud and they needed a break.
AWESOME! I was kicking their ass! They are more community oriented and I am more ass kicking workout oriented but that is totally fine.
I was IN IT, if you know what I mean.
I know its just teaching one spin class but never in my life have I felt such power and such joy. Honestly. I kept telling them I was loving the view from my bike becasue they were working so hard!
I definately had a moment (almost cried, shhh, dont tell) when Journey came on and I saw this one woman just ROCK OUT. She was workin it, pushing herself and OWNING THAT BIKE. So awesome.
After class I had one guy say, "man, I didnt like your music but you had so much energy, it totally didnt matter."
The Journey lady came up to me and gave me a high five.
I felt so happy!
I know technically I have alot of practicing and learning to do but that is fine by me.
I now know I have the passion and the energy to really do this and that is exciting.
I am teaching again this Sunday and the big boss is going to watch me and make sure I am ready to take on Wed nights starting next month.
I made a new routine just for the YMCA crowd. I cant wait to see what they do when I play Bruce Springstein and U2. I still have techno in there but I am willing to compromise.