Thursday, February 24, 2011
I'm too scared!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I might puke. I have an audition to teach cycling on Saturday. My mind is buzzing. I feel so many things all at one time. This can either go very well or I will make an ass of myself. I am filled with excitement and at the same time feel like I shouldnt even go. Who am I kidding?! I have no idea what I am even going to say or do! But I have to atleast give it a shot. I might come away with good feedback. Why is this such a big deal? Can you tell I am all up in my mind about this? Okay......Casey............this is your heart and soul talking. Relax. Breathe. Everything is okay. You are going to give this a shot. You dont need to know the outcome because that doesnt matter right now. What matters is that you are pushing past your fear. You are trying something because you see passion behind it. You know you want to connect with people, help them feel good about themselves. You have good intentions. You have a good heart. You are good enough and you can do this. Peace.........openness. We love you. We will still love you after you do whatever it is you are going to do on that bike on Saturday. Laugh. This is all just for fun, my dear......
Sunday, February 20, 2011
A Ride Through Fear
I have wanted to teach in the fitness industry for atleast the last 12 years. Fitness has always been a passion of mine. It is the one place in my life that I feel confident. I start to sweat and get my heart pumping and my veins are filled with life force. Jedi style. I feel pure positive joy when I am working out and I channel my inner Beyonce.
Why have I waited so long to actually follow my passion? FEAR. (false evidence appearing real, thanks Gary Bussey)
I know the only way that I will ever see if my FEAR is real or imaginary is to just go for it. It has taken me 12 years to get the courage to do just that. I think alot of it has to do with getting comfortable with where I am in life. I have a great job in corporate America and I make a good living. My job makes me think of words like stable, safe, comfortable, somewhat boring, "okay", nice. That is all fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that I want to live a life full of passion. I want to wake up and be absolutely stoked to go to work. I want to help people improve their lives and feel good about themselves. I want to coach and be a cheerleader for people who want that for themselves. The thought of my career surrounding fitness gives me goose bumps. It is my dream.
I am starting to realize it doesnt have to be this dream that I think about from time to time. If I fail, so be it. I think if you have a passion for something, you owe it to yourself to follow it. Of corse there will be times when I make mistakes or feel like I could have given a better class but that is how you learn and become great!
It's time for mama to go for it.
I am happily taking baby steps and started with the Schwinn Cycling Certification through Fly Fitness (www.wearesuperfly.com). I discovered Fly Fitness through a friend of mine who is now the Studio Manager. I have since taken cycling classes at Fly from the studio owner, Traci Barton. She is so warm, friendly and encouraging and the club reflects that energy. It is the type of studio that creates a family/community environment and I instantly wanted to be apart of it. Traci and her crew have found a way to make exercise so intense and also fun! It feels like finding the workout partner you always wanted. The location is amazing, located in Carillon Point-Kirkland. This means it is right near the water and has an amazing view of the mountains. I cant wait until summer when the classes get taken outdoors! I highly recomend anyone and everyone check this studio out!
I took the Cycling Certification this Saturday through Schwinn. I have to admit I was intimidated coming into this training. I looked around the room and felt myself start to go into the fearful place of doubt. My mind started to talk to me-All these other women are already instructors, they look so fit, I am sure they will get to instruct before I would, I should just give this up now..........blah blah blah. That monkey mind tried to take over! Luckily it didnt last and by the end of the day I was not only certified, but extremely excited.
Amy Dixon, (www.amydixonfitness.com) the Schwinn Instructor, was absolutely amazing. She is a gorgeous and totally in shape- red head- who has incredible energy. You could tell she is passionate about fitness, the Schwinn program and connecting with her students. We learned alot of detail about planning classes and how to match the music to RPM, etc. I was a bit overwhelmed. Until the ride. It was AWESOME! Amy became this cycling warrior-she kicked ass while kicking our ass! She matched the music with the emotion of the ride and had us do visualizations which were surprisingly powerful. You could definately feel the class excitement after we rode together. I was PUMPED! All of a sudden, I found myself more confident. I let go of my fear in that ride and embraced the excitement and my own power. I realized everyone in the class was so warm, friendly, open and fantastic. It was a welcome shift from fear to joy. All it took was doing what I love.
I dont know how ready I am to jump on the bike and teach but I do hope to find a mentor to get me to that next step. I want to offer powerful, fun, motivating, hard core classes that get people excited to find their inner Beyonce. We all have one, dont we?! I am going to continue to push past fear and move through this life, living full out. I welcome fear anytime because behind it is always something worth living for.
Why have I waited so long to actually follow my passion? FEAR. (false evidence appearing real, thanks Gary Bussey)
I know the only way that I will ever see if my FEAR is real or imaginary is to just go for it. It has taken me 12 years to get the courage to do just that. I think alot of it has to do with getting comfortable with where I am in life. I have a great job in corporate America and I make a good living. My job makes me think of words like stable, safe, comfortable, somewhat boring, "okay", nice. That is all fine and dandy if it weren't for the fact that I want to live a life full of passion. I want to wake up and be absolutely stoked to go to work. I want to help people improve their lives and feel good about themselves. I want to coach and be a cheerleader for people who want that for themselves. The thought of my career surrounding fitness gives me goose bumps. It is my dream.
I am starting to realize it doesnt have to be this dream that I think about from time to time. If I fail, so be it. I think if you have a passion for something, you owe it to yourself to follow it. Of corse there will be times when I make mistakes or feel like I could have given a better class but that is how you learn and become great!
It's time for mama to go for it.
I am happily taking baby steps and started with the Schwinn Cycling Certification through Fly Fitness (www.wearesuperfly.com). I discovered Fly Fitness through a friend of mine who is now the Studio Manager. I have since taken cycling classes at Fly from the studio owner, Traci Barton. She is so warm, friendly and encouraging and the club reflects that energy. It is the type of studio that creates a family/community environment and I instantly wanted to be apart of it. Traci and her crew have found a way to make exercise so intense and also fun! It feels like finding the workout partner you always wanted. The location is amazing, located in Carillon Point-Kirkland. This means it is right near the water and has an amazing view of the mountains. I cant wait until summer when the classes get taken outdoors! I highly recomend anyone and everyone check this studio out!
I took the Cycling Certification this Saturday through Schwinn. I have to admit I was intimidated coming into this training. I looked around the room and felt myself start to go into the fearful place of doubt. My mind started to talk to me-All these other women are already instructors, they look so fit, I am sure they will get to instruct before I would, I should just give this up now..........blah blah blah. That monkey mind tried to take over! Luckily it didnt last and by the end of the day I was not only certified, but extremely excited.
Amy Dixon, (www.amydixonfitness.com) the Schwinn Instructor, was absolutely amazing. She is a gorgeous and totally in shape- red head- who has incredible energy. You could tell she is passionate about fitness, the Schwinn program and connecting with her students. We learned alot of detail about planning classes and how to match the music to RPM, etc. I was a bit overwhelmed. Until the ride. It was AWESOME! Amy became this cycling warrior-she kicked ass while kicking our ass! She matched the music with the emotion of the ride and had us do visualizations which were surprisingly powerful. You could definately feel the class excitement after we rode together. I was PUMPED! All of a sudden, I found myself more confident. I let go of my fear in that ride and embraced the excitement and my own power. I realized everyone in the class was so warm, friendly, open and fantastic. It was a welcome shift from fear to joy. All it took was doing what I love.
I dont know how ready I am to jump on the bike and teach but I do hope to find a mentor to get me to that next step. I want to offer powerful, fun, motivating, hard core classes that get people excited to find their inner Beyonce. We all have one, dont we?! I am going to continue to push past fear and move through this life, living full out. I welcome fear anytime because behind it is always something worth living for.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Dutch's Fave Foods
Being a mom means you are usually the one to buy the groceries and feed the family. Mom's get the privilege of introducing the joy of food to their bambinos and establish the family food dynamic. I personally love this job and find grocery shopping very relaxing. Dutch seems to get a kick out of the grocery store, so its a win win. I love food and I hope my son finds pleasure in it too! Not only is eating fueling our bodies, but it tastes amazing, especially when it is healthy.
Here are some of Dutch's faves:
1. Avocado-Plain or on top of eggs (favorite number two), my boy can eat a half of an avocado in one sitting, easy. Avocado's are full of beta carotene and antioxidants. They are great for eye and hearth health along with a number of other positive health benefits.
2. Cage Free scrambled eggs-Once these babies cool down, Dutch can pick them up with his fingers and feed himself. I go with cage free, because although slightly more expensive, I have seen one too many documentaries about the disgusting conditions of caged chickens. I don't want my son eating a sad caged, mistreated animals anything. He needs to be eating a happy chicken! Eggs are a great protein source!
3. Whole Wheat Cinnamon Toast-I put some butter, cinnamon and xylitol on a piece of whole wheat toast and cut it up, so once again, Mr. Independent can feed himself. Xylitol is good for the teeth and butter is a great fat for growing boys. The whole wheat toast gets him some grain and vuala! A delicious breakfast!
4. Tofu- High in protein, vitamins and promotes healthy cholesterol. I get a little worried about him chewing meat so this is great because it is easy to eat and it absorbs whatever flavor you add to it. I usually just cook it in olive oil and a bit of seasoning. You can make it sweet or savory.
5. Yogurt-This is a recent fave because the first time he tried it, I picked the wrong flavor. Plain with a little vanilla was too sour! Dutch loves the Greek Gods Palmegranite flavored yogurt and so does his dad! I stay away from alot of the yogurts marketed towards kids because they add alot of sugars and chemicals to make it taste good, which is so sad! Dont do that people! I read labels and make sure the yogurt does not contain anything with -lose at the end like sucralose, glucose, etc. because that is just added sugar. If the label says too many words that I can't pronounce, then I do not buy. I love the Greek Gods brand. Yogurt has the healthy probiotics that our bodies need to digest food. There are about three or four that you will see on your yogurt label and although hard to pronounce, you do want them in your babies. These are the pectin and active cultures that create the good bacteria their little tummies need.
I know Dutch has chosen his favorite foods wisely, because his wise mama is helping, of corse! I want to teach my son that food can fuel his body in a way that can make him have a ton of energy. I know his dad will take him to McDonalds now and then (once a year at most if I can help it) and I am not going to worry about that. I think its about balance, eating healthy as much as you can, and trying new things. I would put these on my top five and I follow the same guidlines. Enjoy!
Here are some of Dutch's faves:
1. Avocado-Plain or on top of eggs (favorite number two), my boy can eat a half of an avocado in one sitting, easy. Avocado's are full of beta carotene and antioxidants. They are great for eye and hearth health along with a number of other positive health benefits.
2. Cage Free scrambled eggs-Once these babies cool down, Dutch can pick them up with his fingers and feed himself. I go with cage free, because although slightly more expensive, I have seen one too many documentaries about the disgusting conditions of caged chickens. I don't want my son eating a sad caged, mistreated animals anything. He needs to be eating a happy chicken! Eggs are a great protein source!
3. Whole Wheat Cinnamon Toast-I put some butter, cinnamon and xylitol on a piece of whole wheat toast and cut it up, so once again, Mr. Independent can feed himself. Xylitol is good for the teeth and butter is a great fat for growing boys. The whole wheat toast gets him some grain and vuala! A delicious breakfast!
4. Tofu- High in protein, vitamins and promotes healthy cholesterol. I get a little worried about him chewing meat so this is great because it is easy to eat and it absorbs whatever flavor you add to it. I usually just cook it in olive oil and a bit of seasoning. You can make it sweet or savory.
5. Yogurt-This is a recent fave because the first time he tried it, I picked the wrong flavor. Plain with a little vanilla was too sour! Dutch loves the Greek Gods Palmegranite flavored yogurt and so does his dad! I stay away from alot of the yogurts marketed towards kids because they add alot of sugars and chemicals to make it taste good, which is so sad! Dont do that people! I read labels and make sure the yogurt does not contain anything with -lose at the end like sucralose, glucose, etc. because that is just added sugar. If the label says too many words that I can't pronounce, then I do not buy. I love the Greek Gods brand. Yogurt has the healthy probiotics that our bodies need to digest food. There are about three or four that you will see on your yogurt label and although hard to pronounce, you do want them in your babies. These are the pectin and active cultures that create the good bacteria their little tummies need.
I know Dutch has chosen his favorite foods wisely, because his wise mama is helping, of corse! I want to teach my son that food can fuel his body in a way that can make him have a ton of energy. I know his dad will take him to McDonalds now and then (once a year at most if I can help it) and I am not going to worry about that. I think its about balance, eating healthy as much as you can, and trying new things. I would put these on my top five and I follow the same guidlines. Enjoy!
Monday, February 7, 2011
mommy, why are you so hungry?
Dutch had his first real cold this weekend. I am definately impressed that it didnt happen until he was one. It is still there a bit but so much better. He is now in good spirits thanks to baby vicks, his new humidifier, some kids tylenol, some hylands homeopathic drops, apple juice, water and cheerios. Dont judge.
I am a good mom. I am learning as I go and I realize after you become a mom, the person you were before is magnified. I think that is why I got PPD because I probably was a bit depressed before Dutch was born without realizing it. I have always been extremely sensitive and emotional. Can you imagine how that is mama magnified? BIG TIME.
It is so hard to watch your kids get sick. Especially for the first time when you feel unfarmilar and extremely cautious. I do panic and I do overreact. I did that with this cold.
I was so worried that Chad and I were not paying close enough attention. I called Chads work and actually said we need to take him to urgent care stat. Why? Because he was sick! Obviously!
Before my pregnancy I was definately an emotional eater. I have conquered that issue from my life, thank GOD. Its so annoying! I was very aware of myself this weekend and as soon as I started to feel exhausted from taking care of Dutch in sick mode, I just wanted to eat and eat. I didnt. But I did realize it was there. I just wanted some relief. Some nice hot fudge sundae that makes me feel sweet and nice and takes me to another place of peace where everyone is healthy for two minutes. Luckily I dont keep this sort of food in the house and there is no way any of the foods in our house could give me the same relief. Also luckily we dont have the money for me to go to the store and buy any extra treats.
It is so hard to see your baby suffer, even if you know it is just the common cold. He is usually so happy and fun all of the day. He was sad, scared, irritated, did not sleep well (made me appreciate his amazing sleeping skills)and all I could do was love him and comfort him. I tell myself he is fine but I still dont always trust my judgement 100%. I know part of my mom journey is to trust myself. I do think I am intuitive and make good decisions when I dont panic. Alas, I called Chad's work and he came home an hour early just because I needed him. I was the mom on the phone that said, " this is an emergency!" Chad is so calm and logical. I am so dramatic and obsessive. This is the way I am and I am still a good person. I still love myself and know I am a good mom. So I obsess....okay. Not always a bad thing.
Dutch is such a healthy little boy, of corse when he is sick, I realize how much I appreciate everyone's health. I realize that when I am "bored" during some of my time with Dutch ( I am sorry, its only once in awhile I swear), I could be apprecaiting our health and peace.
Life and motherhood is alot of ups and downs for me. Its hard to know what other mom's lives are like. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that is scared at times or that feels like I dont know what the hell I am doing. I am learning that is okay. Even if every other mom in America is Mother of the Year, it is still okay for me to be my obsessive, overly cautious, emotional, paranoid, incredibly loving self.
I am a good mom. I am learning as I go and I realize after you become a mom, the person you were before is magnified. I think that is why I got PPD because I probably was a bit depressed before Dutch was born without realizing it. I have always been extremely sensitive and emotional. Can you imagine how that is mama magnified? BIG TIME.
It is so hard to watch your kids get sick. Especially for the first time when you feel unfarmilar and extremely cautious. I do panic and I do overreact. I did that with this cold.
I was so worried that Chad and I were not paying close enough attention. I called Chads work and actually said we need to take him to urgent care stat. Why? Because he was sick! Obviously!
Before my pregnancy I was definately an emotional eater. I have conquered that issue from my life, thank GOD. Its so annoying! I was very aware of myself this weekend and as soon as I started to feel exhausted from taking care of Dutch in sick mode, I just wanted to eat and eat. I didnt. But I did realize it was there. I just wanted some relief. Some nice hot fudge sundae that makes me feel sweet and nice and takes me to another place of peace where everyone is healthy for two minutes. Luckily I dont keep this sort of food in the house and there is no way any of the foods in our house could give me the same relief. Also luckily we dont have the money for me to go to the store and buy any extra treats.
It is so hard to see your baby suffer, even if you know it is just the common cold. He is usually so happy and fun all of the day. He was sad, scared, irritated, did not sleep well (made me appreciate his amazing sleeping skills)and all I could do was love him and comfort him. I tell myself he is fine but I still dont always trust my judgement 100%. I know part of my mom journey is to trust myself. I do think I am intuitive and make good decisions when I dont panic. Alas, I called Chad's work and he came home an hour early just because I needed him. I was the mom on the phone that said, " this is an emergency!" Chad is so calm and logical. I am so dramatic and obsessive. This is the way I am and I am still a good person. I still love myself and know I am a good mom. So I obsess....okay. Not always a bad thing.
Dutch is such a healthy little boy, of corse when he is sick, I realize how much I appreciate everyone's health. I realize that when I am "bored" during some of my time with Dutch ( I am sorry, its only once in awhile I swear), I could be apprecaiting our health and peace.
Life and motherhood is alot of ups and downs for me. Its hard to know what other mom's lives are like. Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that is scared at times or that feels like I dont know what the hell I am doing. I am learning that is okay. Even if every other mom in America is Mother of the Year, it is still okay for me to be my obsessive, overly cautious, emotional, paranoid, incredibly loving self.
Friday, February 4, 2011
My One Year old TV watchin love child
My kid can eat and eat and eat. Sometimes I wonder if he knows when he is full?! This morning for breakfast he had his 6oz of formula, a piece of cinnamon toast (whole grain toast with xyilitol instead of sugar) and half a banana! He is only one, isnt he supposed to eat a palm sized amount of food?! I am not worried about it because he seems happy, healthy and his body is growing rapidly and as it should.
I have noticed he has really changed since his first birthday. I feel like it was this graduation into toddlerhood (that might be a bit dramatic). He has started to develop more of his personality. He laughs more, doesnt whine to be held as much and is drinking organic whole milk every now and then. HOLLER! I have no idea if this is a natural progression for babies to all of a sudden "grow up" at one. It is very strange because my little sister was born when I was 10 and I know I babysat her alot and played with her like she was my doll. You would think I would remember how it all goes!
I have a confession to make about Dutch's morning routine. The TV is on from the time he wakes up, to the time he goes back down for his morning nap! Yes! It is! Do you want to know what?! I dont feel bad about it at all. He gets to watch his Sprout channel which features Barney and then we change it to KCTS 9 for the main event, Sesame Street. He loves it. We have our breakfast together, I watch some TEEV with him, then I wedge the furniture so he is in a playpin type situation and I go upstairs and shower. I am actually proud of how well it all works. When I leave for work, I put Dutch in his crib to take his first morning nap around 8am. He will usually talk to himself for awhile before he goes to sleep. I am talkin FULL ON jabber walkie talk. I do sometimes wonder if he is talking to my mom (FYI-mommy is in Heaven), but that is a whole nother ball of wax.
This AM nap means that my beautiful husband gets to sleep in until about 9 or 9:30am. He is kind of a sleep diva so this really works for him. I know they wrestle with eachother alot during the day, which is interesting. Sometimes I wonder what Dutch will be like when he grows up. I really want to help him learn how to be caring, kind, confident, compassionate, full of integrity. The kind of kid who practices yoga and plays football. The kind of kid who is friends with everyone and helps old ladies cross the street. The kind of kid who will feed the homeless and date the cheerleader (or the yell leader, whatever, no preference) I am not sure how the wrestleing will fit in, but I am sure it is a healthy balance of Chad and my energies.
Chad does this thing where they "throw the ball" with eachother. This resulted in Dutch "throwing the ball" with kids at Gymboree only they didnt know why this kid was throwing balls at their faces. It is funny because I came home and told Chad that Dutch was the Gymboree bully, throwing balls at all the other kids and Chad said proudly, "he is playing ball with them!" So cute.
Now that Dutch is okay with the organic whole milk, I have been wondering and stressing about how to eliminate the formula. I definately welcome any comments on how to do this smoothly. He loves his formula. I have even done taste tests and he can always tell the formula bottle. This is antoher mom lesson that I need to go with the flow. Of corse, my Buddah husband, who is disguised as a loud mouth, tattoo'd, outspoken man's man, has reminded me to go with the flow. HE IS SO RIGHT! I am not going to worry about it and just see how it all plays out. My problem is I read something that says at age one, your kids should phase out the formula and start doing XYZ. I have found that this is never helpful information for me to read. I start to go into freak out mode and worry about the action plan and how we should do things and what if Dutch doesnt get on the milk and omg, is he happy?, what if we mess this up, what is happening, am I a good mom?! CALM DOWN. The best path is to listen to Dutch and follow his lead. Start introducing things gradually and with love and let nature and the Universe to the rest. (I am watching him pound a bottle of formula and gaze at Sesame Street as we speak) Stop reading things that are not necesary. Have patience. That word again. Patience.
It is time for me to wedge the furniture and get ready for work. I hope today brings happiness, love and laughs with my crazy and amazing kid. (aren't they all?!) I am going to practice patience and awareness. Lets not forget confidence.
Cheers to Formula and whole milk and awesome moms who sometimes worry they are crazy! Namaste
I have noticed he has really changed since his first birthday. I feel like it was this graduation into toddlerhood (that might be a bit dramatic). He has started to develop more of his personality. He laughs more, doesnt whine to be held as much and is drinking organic whole milk every now and then. HOLLER! I have no idea if this is a natural progression for babies to all of a sudden "grow up" at one. It is very strange because my little sister was born when I was 10 and I know I babysat her alot and played with her like she was my doll. You would think I would remember how it all goes!
I have a confession to make about Dutch's morning routine. The TV is on from the time he wakes up, to the time he goes back down for his morning nap! Yes! It is! Do you want to know what?! I dont feel bad about it at all. He gets to watch his Sprout channel which features Barney and then we change it to KCTS 9 for the main event, Sesame Street. He loves it. We have our breakfast together, I watch some TEEV with him, then I wedge the furniture so he is in a playpin type situation and I go upstairs and shower. I am actually proud of how well it all works. When I leave for work, I put Dutch in his crib to take his first morning nap around 8am. He will usually talk to himself for awhile before he goes to sleep. I am talkin FULL ON jabber walkie talk. I do sometimes wonder if he is talking to my mom (FYI-mommy is in Heaven), but that is a whole nother ball of wax.
This AM nap means that my beautiful husband gets to sleep in until about 9 or 9:30am. He is kind of a sleep diva so this really works for him. I know they wrestle with eachother alot during the day, which is interesting. Sometimes I wonder what Dutch will be like when he grows up. I really want to help him learn how to be caring, kind, confident, compassionate, full of integrity. The kind of kid who practices yoga and plays football. The kind of kid who is friends with everyone and helps old ladies cross the street. The kind of kid who will feed the homeless and date the cheerleader (or the yell leader, whatever, no preference) I am not sure how the wrestleing will fit in, but I am sure it is a healthy balance of Chad and my energies.
Chad does this thing where they "throw the ball" with eachother. This resulted in Dutch "throwing the ball" with kids at Gymboree only they didnt know why this kid was throwing balls at their faces. It is funny because I came home and told Chad that Dutch was the Gymboree bully, throwing balls at all the other kids and Chad said proudly, "he is playing ball with them!" So cute.
Now that Dutch is okay with the organic whole milk, I have been wondering and stressing about how to eliminate the formula. I definately welcome any comments on how to do this smoothly. He loves his formula. I have even done taste tests and he can always tell the formula bottle. This is antoher mom lesson that I need to go with the flow. Of corse, my Buddah husband, who is disguised as a loud mouth, tattoo'd, outspoken man's man, has reminded me to go with the flow. HE IS SO RIGHT! I am not going to worry about it and just see how it all plays out. My problem is I read something that says at age one, your kids should phase out the formula and start doing XYZ. I have found that this is never helpful information for me to read. I start to go into freak out mode and worry about the action plan and how we should do things and what if Dutch doesnt get on the milk and omg, is he happy?, what if we mess this up, what is happening, am I a good mom?! CALM DOWN. The best path is to listen to Dutch and follow his lead. Start introducing things gradually and with love and let nature and the Universe to the rest. (I am watching him pound a bottle of formula and gaze at Sesame Street as we speak) Stop reading things that are not necesary. Have patience. That word again. Patience.
It is time for me to wedge the furniture and get ready for work. I hope today brings happiness, love and laughs with my crazy and amazing kid. (aren't they all?!) I am going to practice patience and awareness. Lets not forget confidence.
Cheers to Formula and whole milk and awesome moms who sometimes worry they are crazy! Namaste
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